The last three posts make up the beginning of a piece of writing I've been toying with for quite a long time. It's actually the start of a novel I wrote about four or five years ago. Every now and again, I get the whole thing out again, have a look and wonder whether I ought to have a go at rewriting it, or whether I should simply shelve it and move on to something new. I'm still not sure about that, but I thought it would be good to post it here in the interests of take a step outside the comfort zone.

In the past, I know I've been fairly useless at getting outside my comfort zone - in terms of writing, at least. I'm much more inclined to settle down in it, put my feet up, maybe make a nice cup of tea. I'm not very good at putting my work "out there": in spite of good intentions I've even chickened out about posting any fiction here up until now. Maybe it's partly because I've never studied creative writing, or even attended a class, so I haven't entirely got my head around the idea of standing up and acknowledging ownership of my work. Maybe it's also because I've spent so long studying literature which can be a bit of a dangerous thing to do if you want to write yourself.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels like this a lot of the time: even the best of us get The Fear when it comes to putting our work out there in the world. Evidently even Derrida suffered from anxieties about his writing: "moments of fear" when he came over all neurotic in the middle of the night and was tempted to burn all his papers.



Having said that though, I do think it's important to get used to the idea of leaving the comfort zone. Writing this blog has been a good step in the right direction: it's helped me to get back into the habit of writing regularly, but more importantly, to get used to sharing what I write with others and to cope with the scary stuff (see here and here). It's also taught me that not everything I write has to be carefully worked out and immaculately put together. In fact, I've found that sometimes the best things come out of just having a go and not worrying too much. It also makes it a lot more fun, which has to be the point in the end really, doesn't it?

Anyway posting this has been a good start. Now I just have to keep going and get used to the idea of stepping outside my comfort zone. Or as Derrida himself puts it, I just need to "do what must be done."

(The excellent picture above is by Keri Smith from her blog wish jar)

Today I made a decision to do something which has absolutely terrified me for years. I have signed up for a creative writing workshop - a two day novel-based course coming up in the next couple of weeks.

To anyone else that might not sound so scary, but I have always been petrified by the idea of sharing my writing with strangers. I don’t know what it is I am so afraid of, but the very thought of it gives me The Fear. However it’s far too late now - I’ve decided to take the plunge. Also I have already paid, so I’m going to have to go through with it and be brave.

With that in mind, I am back here again. It’s not so very adventurous I know, given that (so far!) I would estimate my current readership to be a grand total of nil. However, it’s still a step in the right direction.

In view of all this creative fear and angst, I’ve unearthed my copy of Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way for artistic inspiration and support. I always find it a particularly peculiar book - perhaps just because I’m not always comfortable with the terminology used and the approach Cameron takes - there’s a bit too much about God and it has that slightly discomfiting ‘self-help’ quality to it. However, there’s no doubt that it’s a great source of inspiration to get going or to carry on when the going gets tough. It’s a good place to go for straight-to-the-point advice that always hits home: today I opened the book to read mistakes are necessary... progress, not perfection is what we should be asking of ourselves.

Couldn’t be better advice. As The Fear looms like a nightmare monster, I’m taking a quote from Henry David Thoreau as my motto: Go confidently in the direction of your dreams!